Lemme guess——I'll bet you're anxious to get started! Let us Proceed to READ:
1) Give Up Sleeping: We're not just talking about "cutting down" or "going on less", but eliminating sleep entirely!
Disadvantages of Sleep:
a) Nightmares
b) Lost Revenue/Decreased Productivity Due to Inactivity
c) Incurred Debt from Additional Accessories such as:
Beds/Sheets/Pillows/Pajamas & Robes/Sleeping Pills/Laundry Costs.
Instead of Sleep, we should consider taking on 3rd/4th Part-Time Jobs to begin generating Excess Cash!
2) Work-At-Someone-Else's-Home-Business: Enough of all this malarkey about making millions on your Own Home Business Start-Up—Do it at Someone Else's House! You will save on Utilities, Chores, and being interrupted by all those Dang Harassing Calls from annoying 'Bill Collectors'...
3) Open Up Your Own Theater in Branson, Missouri: This is what famous musicians are wont to do when their popularity/sales start to dwindle—performing their old hits at their own establishments for all their fans who still desire to "live in the past".
So you've never had a "hit single"? Not to worry—many of the "Nostalgia Acts" Touring Today have One Original Band Member on Life Support who owns the rights to the Band's Name, plus Several New Young Members Nobody Knows, and The Crowds Don't Care!—Why not hire some of these bullet-heads to play at your new joint & start rakin' in dat "Nostalgia Cash"?
4) Start A New Religious Cult: Listen up—there's plenty of humans out there just waiting to worship Other Charismatic Humans and willingly hand over their paychecks in exchange for
some "After-Life Goodies & Guarantees". Nuff Said!
5) Crime: When all else fails, these following career options are Recession-Proof:
Bank Robbers
Hit-Men
Drug Smugglers
Ticket-Scalpers
Bookees/Gamblers
Loan Sharks
Gang-Members
YOU AIN'T RICH YET?
Get Busy!!!
